For the past 10 months I have been at the University of Michigan helping to build its first-ever Division I Varsity Women’s Lacrosse program as an assistant coach.  I’ve learned quite a lot during my journey so far and with about one year remaining until the first class of women’s lacrosse players step on campus, I thought I would share the next steps in my journey with you through this blog!

Over the course of the next year I will be writing a blog post on the FIRST day of each month to honor our Team ONE – the very first Michigan Women’s Lacrosse Team.   Through a series of 12 blog posts I hope to shed some light on what it is like to build an athletic program from the ground up, share some of the observations I’ve made along the way and reflect upon the journey while its happening.

The countdown to TEAM ONE has begun!

MONTH 1: LESSONS IN LEADERSHIP

“Those Who Stay Will Be Champions”.  Legendary Michigan Football Head Coach Bo Schembechler delivered this rallying cry to his players from his first day on the job.  Every Michigan football player who played for Bo and stayed at Michigan through four years earned at least one Big Ten Championship ring. Additionally, no player under Bo’s leadership saw a losing season.  To this day, “Those Who Stay Will Be Champions” resonates as a team motto for every Michigan Wolverine.

But Championships weren’t Coach Shembechler’s main focus; the goal was always “The TEAM, The TEAM, The TEAM”.  Bo knew that Champions came as a result of the THE TEAM and nothing is ever more important that THE TEAM.   CLICK HERE to view Bo’s famous “The TEAM, The TEAM, The TEAM” speech (it’s pretty amazing).

Bo Schembechler’s book titled “Bo’s Lasting Lessons“ was a summer read for all Michigan coaches in preparation for our first Michigan Leadership Academy (MLA) session with Jeff Janssen.  Throughout the session we discussed lessons learned from Bo and his leadership and coaching philosophy.  Bo Schembechler was a great coach whose teams and players saw tremendous success both on the field, off the field and beyond under his tutelage, but it is his triumphant leadership that is perhaps his most lasting legacy.

An interesting question was raised during this particular MLA.  The question was “Do you think Coach Bo Schembechler would be able to be as successful today using his same leadership and coaching philosophy?”  My first thought was yes.  Many of Bo’s lessons in leadership revolved around a strong foundation of core morals and values. In my opinion, when a coach has a strong sent of moral and values and relies on them to make decisions on a daily basis, success will always follow.  However, some felt that it would not be possible for him to succeed given the current political landscape of coaching.  With additional pressures and demands of coaches today, other coaches felt he would have had to make some adjustments in his ways to be successful.  It was an interesting and thought provoking perspective.

The MLA discussion surrounding leadership and Bo Schembechler got me thinking and raising questions about my own leadership style and how we as a staff will need to prepare ourselves to begin to instill leadership within our team as they arrive on campus.  As a large group of predominately freshman with no senior leadership to employ or rely on in year one it will be a unique set of circumstances – some of which we may not have encountered as coaches prior to this point. How will we make a lasting, meaningful and motivating impact on our team in the way that Bo did with his rallying cry?  How will we go about implementing Michigan Tradition into our team? In what ways (if any) will we need to adjust our leadership approach to meet the needs of our Team One?  It’s important that in the upcoming months we focus on the different but deliberate ways we will look to build leaders on our team here at Michigan and as we begin to map out our team’s road to leadership the answer to those questions and more will start to reveal themselves.

I will never forget the pin I bought when I was in fourth grade at a fair by my house. It was light blue with big black lettering and read: “Anything Boys Can Do, Girls Can Do Better.”  I couldn’t get the 50 cents out of my pocket quick enough to buy the pin that I swore was made just for me and I proudly stuck it front and center on my denim-washed jean jacket so that everyone would be able to read it and know that I was one of those girls who wasn’t going to be intimidated by boys.  I’ve kept that pin over the years to remind myself that I – a women – can do anything a man can do…and do it better!

Of course today I don’t truly believe that we as women do everything better than men, but I do believe in that spirited mentality a young girl who knew her unique worth as a female. We as women are different in ways that make us better at some things than others and it’s important we take the time to recognize and celebrate these differences that make us better – especially when it comes to leadership and coaching. Far too often I hear women mention the things that actually make us better leaders as weakness or limitations.  We don’t always fully appreciate what we as women can bring to the table, and instead of celebrating and exploiting these differences, we downplay or ignore them.

I recently came across a post by Dan Rockwell, a.k.a The Leadership Freak (http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/), that focused on “Where Women Leaders are Better than Men”.   The post was an interesting compilation of input to a question he threw out there to his Facebook followers.  The Leadership Freak asked the “Freaks” (as he calls them) that follow his Facebook page, “What are women leaders better at than men?”

Incidentally, over the past couple months, I have been asking myself that very same question.  As I watched NCAA Tournament for both women’s and men’s basketball this past winter, I found myself paying less attention to the actual game and more attention to the coaches and their ability to lead – especially when the going got tough!  At times, there were noticeable and distinct differences at how the women coaches responded to certain situations (before, during, in-between and after games) when compared to the men.  It’s not to say one way was right and one was wrong, or one way was successful and another unsuccessful, just that while they were alike in some aspects, they were also noticeably different in others.  Maybe it was that little fourth grader inside of me who thought she could do anything better than the boys, but I started to think about women and their innate differences and what makes them great leaders which in turn lead me to think about what qualities women possess that make them better leaders than men (and vice versa).   I reflected back to myself as a young girl so confident that what made her a girl made her better.  I thought to myself, now all these years later as a woman have I continued to fully embrace my innate differences that make me a strong leader?

I think it’s important to note here that in doing this comparison I by no means am trying to stereotype one gender or another, I’m just simply attempting to point out the unique and valuable differences that women possess which make them fantastic leaders and in turn successful coaches.   The Leadership Freak hinted to this notion well in his post by saying: “Generalities and stereotypes that lock people in restrictive boxes belittle everyone. On the other hand, celebrating difference honors individuals and enhances organizations.”  Well said.

So what exactly did those Facebook followers come up with in response to his question?  Below is a list of answers:

1. Knowing when there is no value in fighting.
2. Understanding when someone just has a crummy day.
3. Understanding the pressures that other women leaders face.
4. Organization and multitasking.
5. Compassion.
6. *Empathy.
7. Tenderness.
8. Building consensus, supporting staff, sharing credit, and leading from the middle.
9. Networking.
10. Emotional Intelligence.
11. *Listening
12. *Smiling through the pain.
13. Focusing on details.
14. Mission focus and *tolerance.
15. Transparency.
16. Simplicity.
17. Valuing people for who they are not just what they do.
18. Building relationships that last.
19. Creating an environment where mistakes are not just tolerated but seen as essential to growth.

Note: Items are listed in the order they were posted on Facebook. An asterisk indicates that item was mentioned more than once.

The Leadership Freak used spot #20 on the list in his post to ask his readers: “What can you add, amplify, or illustrate?”  I’d like to ask the same of all the Women in Coaching readers… use the comments section below to add to the list and share your thoughts with us!

Since I like to end each of my posts with a quote, I can’t help but share the slogan I saw on the t-shirt of a young lacrosse player recently during my recruiting travels.  She reminded me of myself at that age with my treasured blue pin I bought at the fair.  Her t-shirt read “Some girls chase boys, I pass them”.  Something tells me that young girl will grow up to be a successful woman leader.

Jennifer Valore, Assistant Women’s Lacrosse Coach, University of Michigan, valore@umich.edu. Follow me on Twitter: jvalore

As I began to write my follow-up blog post to “Toot your own Horn!”, I started to write down the many ways we as women can remind others of our successes and begin tooting our own horn in a positive, tactful and meaningful way. It’s an important skill as a coach, but it is equally important for any woman in any profession. 

 But when I started listing one vehicle for tooting your horn after another I realized that some women may not be comfortable just jumping right into tooting their own horn.  Learning to feel comfortable with talking about our accomplishments and successes is a process that can take some time. Just like sports, we must practice before our first competition, so before we jump into the game, let’s first work towards building a foundation for a winning PR effort.

 After some researching on the topic, I found an article from the March 2003 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine titled “Tooting your Own Horn 101”.  The article suggests a few simple ways to start tooting your own horn.  While you may not connect with all of these suggestions, take the time to carefully read and re-read this list and pick out a few that resonate with you. Then, over the course of the next two weeks practice some of these strategies to help you begin to feel comfortable horn tooting. The more you practice, the sharper your horn tooting skills will become and the more comfortable you will feel with this “game” of PR.

• Practice horn tooting for something you believe in. Nonprofit groups need help more than ever. Saying something good about their mission helps you learn what makes for a compelling pitch and makes you feel good about doing it.
• Toot a coworker’s horn. It’s great to point out someone else’s accomplishments. Just make sure you don’t use it as an excuse to put yourself down.
• Don’t bad-mouth other women for promoting themselves. It’s easy to ask, “Who does she think she is?” But every time we do, we’re sending a message to others, and to ourselves, that it’s wrong for women to say good things about themselves. Change the world—and yourself—by mentally saying “Hurrah!” when another woman goes for it.
• Data is your friend. Particularly in the business world, numbers are an effective way to tell the story of how wonderful you are. Practice saying something great about yourself and proving it with statistics. If you can’t back up your claims, think about asking for opportunities that would give you the bragging rights you need.
• Know what you need. Preparing to toot your own horn goes beyond deciding what you’re going to say. Make sure you know what you need to feel supported while you make your pitch and how to take care of yourself afterward, no matter how it goes.
• Give yourself permission to experiment. Ask a friend to spend a half hour or so with you to practice horn tooting.
• Create a safe place. Sometimes you know you’re going to be called upon to toot your own horn, and sometimes you don’t. Knowing it’s coming can be harder because you have time to get anxious. That’s why it’s good to be able to create a safe place within your own head where you can go when you start to panic.

Jennifer Valore, Assistant Women’s Lacrosse Coach, University of Michigan, valore@umich.edu. Follow me on Twitter: jvalore

A couple weeks ago during a little brainstorming session with a friend (who is also a colleague and fellow coach) we got to talking about the difference between how women vs. men coaches promote (or fail to promote) themselves and their accomplishments.   The question that was eventually raised from this discussion was “Why don’t women coaches toot their own horn like men coaches do?”

While there could be numerous reasons behind the lack of “tooting one’s own horn” by female coaches, the three top answers that came to our minds were:

1. Women coaches often lack the confidence in themselves or their abilities and thus shy away from “tooting their own horn”.
2. Women coaches doubt that anyone would care about their accomplishments…so why “toot your horn”?
3.  As women we were raised that “tooting your own horn” was inappropriate or distasteful and thus we feel uncomfortable about and shy away from promoting our own experiences, successes and accomplishments.

The truth is however that none of these reasons are acceptable or valid.   Yes, at times self-doubt can creep into our heads and lead us to question our skill and abilities, but we should never let that doubt hinder us from moving forward.   And while it may be true that not all people are going to care about what we have to say or what we do (even if it is important or inspiring) those who do care are worth us speaking out.  And while “tooting of one’s own horn” can sometimes be distasteful, when done properly and appropriately it is seen in a positive light.

All women coaches are talented in their own unique and individual ways and all women coaches have something valuable to teach and share with others (you never know who you might impact outside your own team or organization).  We as women need to reverse the mindset that self-promotion is a negative message and begin to understand why we need to speak out and create visibility for ourselves.

In my next couple posts I’m going to take a look at PR for coaches and the useful strategies, opportunities and initiatives we as coaches can take advantage of to promote ourselves, gain visibility & develop our careers.  Together we can start to step out of our PR shells…one toot at a time!

Each year with the arrival of National Girls and Women in Sport Day, I can’t help but celebrate how far women have come in sport yet think about how much progress we women still need to make in the once male dominated athletic arena.  In a recent Woman in Coaching post (“Centennial Conference’s Snell-Shillingford Symposium: Empowering The Next Generation of Women Coaches”), Dr. Ellen Staurowsky’s message of empowering women coaches through the legacy of those who have gone before them immediately brought to my mind one very special coach who has impacted my life as a female athlete & coach – Mrs.  Bea Thomas.

Mrs. Thomas, who grew up in a world where woman weren’t able to play a sport in college, participated in intramural sports at Temple University in the 1930’s.  While at Temple, she picked up a field hockey stick in her freshman year and never put it down eventually becoming an All-American goalie on the U.S. Field Hockey Team.

After graduating in 1933, Mrs. Thomas, who continued to play field hockey in her 60’s, began teaching and coaching.  In the 1950’s she landed at Moorestown High School.  Forty-some years later I was a freshman at Moorestown H.S. and lucky enough to have been introduced to this amazing woman.

Mrs. Thomas was a remarkable athlete of her time and has had a storied coaching career having led the Moorestown field hockey team to powerhouse status winning numerous league and state titles.  But perhaps her most victorious and triumphant role has been that of mentor and role model. Always dressed head to toe in school-spirited black and gold, what stands out most in my mind were the eyes of a woman that always reflected the determination that lied within her soul.  It was that same determination and feisty, passionate spirit which propelled her to assume the role of pioneer of her time, blazing a trail for female athletes to follow.

Mrs. Bea Thomas celebrated her 100^th birthday this past Monday and not surprisingly her spirit is just as feisty as it ever was.  When reflecting on that time when female athletes weren’t allowed to play at their schools forcing her and other woman to seek out additional athletic opportunities, Mrs. Thomas exclaimed, “We didn’t need the men, poohey! They couldn’t pull anything over on us.”  It’s with that comment I know that not only is Bea Thomas alive and well at 100, so is her inspiration.

Thank you Mrs. Thomas for all you have done for women in sport.  You are truly a BEAutiful inspiration and I hope that in some small way I am able to honor your legacy by continuing to teach and empower female athletes through coaching.

“To tell a woman everything she may not do is to tell her what she can do. “ -unknown author

Jennifer Valore, Assistant Women’s Lacrosse Coach, University of Michigan, valore@umich.edu. Follow me on Twitter: jvalore

Much of my day in the office right now is devoted to recruiting.  With a new program and season that doesn’t officially start until 2013-2014 our focus has been on securing the freshman class that will begin to write the history books for Michigan Women’s Lacrosse. Yes, you did the math correctly; the student-athletes we are recruiting are currently juniors in high school.

With so much time spent on recruiting right now, I can’t help but think about just how much this process had changed since I was in high school and the pressures young junior girls now face that I didn’t even begin to feel the weight of until at least the summer after 11^th grade.   Gone are the days of  making your college athletic decisions through senior year official visits followed by commitments and the signing of a National Letter of Intent (NLI) shortly there after.  Today, girls fresh off the arrival of their junior year make unofficial visits to colleges and universities and verbal commitments to these institutions and athletic programs long before official visits or NLI’s are even permissible and prior to even stepping on the field to play their junior season in high school.   Additionally, with the onset of social media and mass communication vehicles and the increased focus on the sport of lacrosse through media and other such outlets, it has become far to easy to know about and thus compare ones self and ones current progress to the rest of the recruiting class across the nation.  Such pressures – self-initiated or brought on by those around these young women – lead to a thought process of who’s doing what vs. where am I which is often compounded by those in a position of guiding these young athletes telling them where they should be. As a result the decision-making process for these young girls can cause quite a bit of apprehension and is far more demanding and taxing than it ever was for me.

As a coach, the recruiting process is something I respect and the timetable is one that I work readily in collaboration with.  But as a coach, I also feel a responsibility to be sure these young women are guided and mentored throughout the entire process.  I hope that they get positive support, advice and direction from those in a position to mentor them such high school coaches, club coaches and their parents. And often they do.  But unfortunately sometimes that support system is absent, insufficient or misguided and frequently this exciting and gratifying time in a young student-athletes’ life can be overwhelmingly stressful, taxing and confusing.

It’s important for any coach to remember that the recruiting process today can often be a scary and uncertain time in any young woman’s life and we should feel a responsibility to help them understand this process as best as possible along the way.  We can do our jobs well in recruiting while still providing the guidance, communication, respect and simple consideration, care and understanding that makes us good coaches in the first place and that all the young women athletes we come in contact with deserve.

Our coaching shouldn’t be limited to when student-athletes arrive on campus or “officially” become part of our team.  It should begin the day recruiting commences.

“Players don’t care how much I know until they know how much I care.” Frosty Westering

Jennifer Valore, Assistant Women’s Lacrosse Coach, University of Michigan, valore@umich.edu. Follow me on Twitter: jvalore

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It seems appropriate that in this first week of 2012 as I officially blog my first entry in “Women in Coaching” I also begin to write the first chapter in the new story of my career as an assistant coach for University of Michigan’s inaugural NCAA DI women’s lacrosse program.  I am thrilled to embark on this challenging and exciting new journey and look forward to sharing many of my experiences along the way with all of you!

So as I greet this New Year with arms wide open I also anxiously welcome the opportunity to connect with an old friend – my passion for coaching. Like many people, I believe when you have a passion for something and you follow it you are doing what you were meant to do and thus you will realize your own unique success and happiness.  Yet as we all know however, uncovering and discovering your passion while finding the means and opportunity to follow it in life is sometimes easier said than done.  But for those who are fortunate to find themselves in a position of pursing what they love to do in some way, shape or form, the personal rewards and satisfaction are immeasurable.

The fantastic thing about coaching is that are numerous opportunities to get involved and uncover your passion that don’t require the commitment of coaching as a full-time job. So whether you are currently coaching or not, in this New Year I encourage you to seek out a new way to reconnect with your passion for coaching in whatever way possible.  It may mean finally taking the step to help out with coaching your son or daughter’s youth league team or volunteering your time as a coach for your local recreation department’s sports league or simply making an effort to learn or develop a new skill or apply a new technique to your current approach to coaching.  The important thing is not how big or small the effort, but rather that you take the time to consciously connect with your passion, grow as a person and coach, continue to reveal the happiness that lies inside and in doing so carry on with sharing what you love to do with the world!

And so it is in honor of all coaches that I give TWO THUMBS UP to 2012 and another year of passion-filled days of sharing your love and talents through coaching!

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I am a big fan of quotations as I enjoy the way they often open my mind and allow me to look at something from a different angle or a new perspective.  So for each of my blog posts I intend on sharing a related and hopefully stimulating and thought-provoking quote with you!  This week, I was reminded of the following quote about passion from Baseball Hall of Famer Ernie Banks:  “Work? I never worked a day in my life. I always loved what I was doing, had a passion for it.”  

Jennifer Valore, Assistant Women’s Lacrosse Coach, University of Michigan, valore@umich.edu. Follow me on Twitter: jvalore