In July, I had the opportunity to coach a boat at the Olympic Games.  I have assisted with the team and coached at the World Championships for the past four years, so I knew the athletes and the routine at international competitions.  However, my last trip to the Olympics was in Atlanta in 1996 when I was an athlete not a coach.  Occasionally I got nervous leading up to this event, but my general philosophy has always been: racing is racing, and we train for it every day.  That said, from my experience as an athlete, I knew that the Olympics are a bit different … just enough that it can really throw off an athlete’s performance.  My goal as a coach this summer was to make the environment and experiences as close to “normal” as possible to allow the athletes to perform at their best with focus and without added distraction.  I was working with one of the most successful international rowing coaches, and with his guidance, we were able to have a successful Olympics.

First, I acknowledge that the Olympic Games are arguably the premier sporting event globally.  The stakes are high because the eyes of the world are watching.  One of the biggest pressures on an athlete is the pressure that comes from other people’s expectations.  In the lead-up to the Olympics, there is more speculation and forecasting of projected results than any other year.  Athletes always have family following them.  However, in an Olympic year hometowns, states and the entire country pick heros and follow them through the competition.  This is an incredible amount of pressure for an athlete to bear.  The head coach addressed this in various ways through the months leading up to London and again throughout the competition.  He kept the athletes grounded and tried to relieve some of the pressure and expectations that others were heaping on.

The global interest also increases stress levels on athletes because there is more media coverage leading up to and during the Games.  (Let me point out that any media coverage for rowers is more than normal, but in an Olympic year it increases exponentially with interest from magazines like Time and Outside and national news shows like The Today Show). In team sports, this can cause divisiveness because the media wants to have one or two spokespeople.  In a boat with nine people the others are left without a voice and without the publicity.  It is easy for teammates to get caught up in issues that do not help them go fast.  The policy on our team is that access to media was strictly limited until after the qualifier races.  Then it was monitored closely until after the final races.  Although this caused some irritation to the reporters who wanted access to the rowers, it did keep the athletes focused on the task at hand and not on who was saying what.

The stakes are also high because the Games occur once every four years, and many competitors only have one shot at their dream of an Olympic medal.  The pressure that athletes put on themselves increases through the selection process and through the competition.  Additionally, the coaches and staff feel an immense amount of pressure that everything be ideal for the athlete’s performance.  Individuals respond differently to that pressure.  The athletes who make the team are usually the ones who respond well performance-wise under pressure.  However, personalities can change over the months of added stress.  Some athletes get selfish, cocky, short-tempered, defensive, paranoid, or overwhelmed.  It is the coach’s responsibility to monitor the team dynamics.  Sometimes it is better to let each boat work things out, but sometimes the coach needs to pull aside an individual and address the issue.

There are many distractions.  Sponsors have places and host events, to celebrate the Olympians.  Processing, where the athletes get all their clothing, Opening and Closing Ceremony uniforms, etc., takes a full day out of a training plan.  However it is not “resting”.  It is exhausting and comes just days before the start of competition.  Opening Ceremonies is an amazing event.  But for the athletes, it is hours of sitting in an arena next door before walking in to the crowded stadium.  Again, exhausting.  We kept our environment as close to what we would experience at World Championships as possible.  We stayed at a satellite village with other rowers, so we did not have all the distraction of the main Olympic Village.  Our athletes did not walk in Opening Ceremonies because racing for some started the next day.  So much of their “Olympic Experience” was postponed until after the first week of racing.  This kept the athletes focused and as rested as possible.

Additionally, security at the Olympic Games is conspicuous.  The athletes stay in secured facilities with full security screenings for access.  Family and friends are not allowed to enter freely.  The busses are checked thoroughly before accessing any venues.  It is very isolating, but does ensure that the athletes are free of distractions.

Finally, there is the added stress that comes from potential financial gains.  In rowing, these are not significant, but successful Olympic performances can make the difference between being comfortable or barely scraping by financially.  There is also pressure on the National Governing Body to get medals because future funding from the U.S. Olympic Committee and other sources is based on performance.

All that said, the competition itself was very much like a World Championship.  A race course is a race course.  They are all similar: 2000m long with buoyed lanes like a huge swimming pool.  Life was not glamorous.  I ate in the dining hall, I slept on a mattress on the floor so that we could get one more coach in the dorms in the Satellite Village, and I flew out the day after my boat finished racing to make room for the kayakers coming in for the next week.  I never made it in to the main Olympic Village or got to see any other events.  However, it was a glorious experience.  I got to bike along the course and yell for the races along with the other coaches.  I got to see the best rowers in the world racing head-to-head.  And I got to experience the breathtaking performance of our women’s quadruple sculls to win the Olympic bronze medal, the inspiring performance by the women’s pair to come a heartbreakingly close 4^th … in their first international competition in the pair, and the impressive performance by our women’s eight to win the Olympic gold medal.

I just looked back to my previous Women in Coaching entry that was posted on March 29.  Wow, how time flies!  I signed off when I started traveling for World Cup races in the spring, and although the Olympics wrapped up months ago, I am just getting back to my keyboard.

I really had intended to keep posting through the summer to document my experiences leading up to and through the London Olympics.  However, I was not able to keep up.  First there was the stress selecting and preparing the team.  Then came the chaos of The Games themselves.  After that, I unplugged completely for two months to catch up with my kids and husband who I had hardly seen for much of 2012.  That was followed by the reorganization and uncertainty that signals the end of one quadrennial cycle or the beginning of a new one.  Now, I am getting back into my routine.  We are ramping up with a new crop of athletes.  The cycle starts over.

As I sat down to write my first entry in a long time, I browsed through the current Women in Coaching site.  I am amazed at how much interesting information, eye opening observations and great advice everyone has to offer.  As I did before my first entry earlier this year, I do not feel I have much to offer.  That said, I did just have the opportunity to coach through the Olympics.  So, over the next few entries, I will share some of my experiences working with the U.S. Women’s Rowing Team.  I am looking forward to having time to reflect back on what I have gone through and to share some insight into coaching at the International level.

Successful Day of Racing - Sprints 2007

This is a continuation on my theme of stories, some comical and some stressful and all of them learning experiences, about balancing family life with the demands of coaching. These stories come from a number of Division 1 rowing coaches but could just as well come from other sports, other levels, or non-coaching careers. For those of you who have been in these same situations, hopefully these will give you a chuckle or some peace of mind that others resort to similar extremes. For those of you who consider having children someday, these stories may give you a bit of confidence that you can keep coaching although sometimes it is a challenge and you may question your decisions as they impact your team or your child. This week shares some experiences and gives some advice about balancing children with the team on race day.

We put in many, many hours of training for competition. So, race day has a culmination of stresses that do not present themselves on a daily basis at practice. There is the pressure to perform, so any distractions or disruptions to routine cause anxiety. Generally the schedule is tight with only a couple minutes of leeway. However, depending on the sport, the schedule can be altered and lengthened for weather or other delays, and you have to be able to adapt. Regardless, as a coach, you have to be at your best and help the athletes to be at their best. The presence of children can be a distraction. It can challenge your ability to focus and stay on task. It tests your skills as a coach and parent. However, with age appropriate strategies, I believe that you can successfully have your children attend races. This is good, because sometimes that is the only option a parent has.

From my experience, infants are relatively easy. I remember a league championship with my daughter in the Baby Bjorn. I had a very detailed plan for preemptive feedings and diaper changes scheduled around boat meetings and launching times. Luckily there were no major mishaps like issues with athletes, weather delays, diaper blowouts, temper tantrums, etc. She basically slept through it all, but man, my back and shoulders were sore at the end of the day.

My son spent his first racing season, eight- to ten-months old, in a back pack and toddling around. Once you reach toddler phase, things are a lot more challenging. Race day is focused – for the coach that means ensuring that everything and everyone are ready, for the team that means concentrating on the task at hand. Kids, especially toddlers, are generally not very interested in the racing, and if they are interested, it only lasts a few minutes rather than the required number of hours. They want to play. They want you to play. They want to go in the water or climb on a trailer or just run and hide. It is not easy to keep track of them while you are preparing for and watching the racing. Once children are on the go AND out of diapers, things get even more challenging. Race day runs on a very set schedule. Young children are notorious for needing something at the most inopportune moments. For example, I can count on my daughter having to go #2 (which takes three to five minutes) just moments before a team meeting is scheduled … and she is not big enough yet to handle the port-a-potties, that are the only option at many events, by herself. I highly recommend having a second pair of hands available for kid duty at competitions. I have recruited family members, friends, and even athletes who are not racing to watch the children during meetings and during the races.

Once little ones gain independence, meaning 1) they communicate clearly enough to be understood by other adults, 2) they are old enough to entertain themselves and have the attention span to be entertained for hours with a movie, and 3) they understand ground rules that you set, then race day can be fun. Our National Selection Regattas are always scheduled quite early in the morning. My husband runs the events, and I coach. We make it a special event for our children. We usually have to get them up around 4:30 AM and out the door by 4:40. They sleep in their sweat suits so no dressing needed. They always get chocolate milk or hot chocolate, depending on the weather, for early morning drives just like mom and dad’s coffee. Once we get on site, we set up a “camp” either under a desk if there is one, or in a truck. We try to strategically use a portable DVD player to entertain the kids during team meetings, racing, and other times when we are absolutely preoccupied. Other than that, they play and explore outside. Usually by mid-morning, they are exhausted. Luckily, both are good nap-ers and will curl up in a “nest” which is just a jacket on the ground when they are worn out. Some of that ability to entertain themselves and to sleep anywhere is luck. Some of it is “training”. They have both grown up at these types of events.

Another mother/coach describes her experience: I usually try to bring my daughter on longer trips. She has grown up in front of many of my peer coaches, especially at events like NCAA’s where there is somewhat of a gated community behind the security fence. My daughter roams free and I don’t worry much about her because I know there are a lot of “eyes” on her where ever she goes. Many coaches let me know where they last saw her….”by the water”, “in the snack tent” or “following the geese”. Even though we are in serious competition I feel a sense of community with the other coaches who are parents.

It is satisfying for me now, as my children are getting a bit older, to be able to say that “I choose to bring my kids to competitions” rather than “I have to bring them”. They enjoy seeing people they know at the events and watching the women race, while I enjoy sharing my work with them with the excitement of competition.

This is a continuation on my theme of stories about balancing family life with the demands of coaching. These stories come from a number of Division 1 rowing coaches but could just as well come from other sports, other levels, or non-coaching careers. For those of you who have been in similar situations, hopefully these will give you a chuckle or some peace of mind that others resort to similar extremes. For those of you who consider having children someday, these stories may give you a bit of confidence that you can keep coaching although sometimes it is a challenge and you may question your decisions as they impact your team or your child. This week looks at a coach’s dedication to her team when family-life is the priority. This week looks at just what it takes to keep a coach away from race day.

It is rare for a coach to miss practice. It takes extreme circumstances for a coach to miss a competition. However, they usually go to tremendous measures to show their responsibility and commitment to their team. When my daughter was born at 7:04 p.m. on a Friday, a week early, I was on the phone with my team the following morning for their pre-race talk. I wasn’t just lying in my bed on the phone. I had to wander the hospital hallways to find cell coverage. It was not a long conversation, but I did take time to speak with each athlete, remind them of details we had already discussed and worked on in practice, and give them thoughts for the race. After that, I had a lot of bonding time with my new-born. My husband was busy with his team’s race day schedule.

Another coach describes her experience: so, my due date was May 19th. We learned of our first ever bid to the NCAA Championships on the 17th. I was hoping to somehow have the baby before the Championships so I could at least be there to watch. The Heats were on Friday, May 27th at 8 a.m. As luck would have it, my contractions started at 2:45 a.m. on that very day. So, like a diligent first timer, I kept track of the length and separation of the contractions for the rest of the night. As the intensity and duration increased and the intervals decreased, I was hoping to be able to stay home long enough to watch the race on the internet. That was not going to happen. At 7:00 a.m., I called the team. I had a chance to talk to all nine competitors, wishing them well, reminding them to stay calm, push through the pain, and of course, breathe. Saying those words did me good as I would ask them to hold when my contractions came because they were getting quite strong. As soon as we hung up, my husband and I left for the hospital. When we made it to the hospital, I was 6 cm dilated! The fact that I was so focused on getting a chance to see the race really made the first part of labor easier, and my words of advice to the team actually helped me through the rest.

In both these cases, we had known that there was a high probability if not certainty that we would not be able to attend the race.  The teams had been well prepared in advance.  We had ironed out the details of their pre-race routine, their race warm-up, and their race plan.  We had paid even more attention to preparation than normal circumstances.  We also had excellent assistant coaches to take care of details at the competition.  In rowing, like all sports, success comes primarily from preparation.  We are fortunate, however.  Rowing is a sport in which the coach’s primary race day responsibilities are 1) checking the equipment and 2) preparing the athletes mentally before they launch.  Once the boats are on the water, they are on their own.  We do not call time-outs or change the plan mid-game.  All the coach can do is watch.  However, that does not make it any easier to miss the competition.

I have my dream job. I spent six years in the corporate world and generally dreaded going to work. I much prefer practices and working with athletes every day. In my current position, I get paid to coach full-time. I get to work with the top rowing athletes in the United States. They are motivated and talented and rewarding to work with. I get to travel the world for training and competitions. The main thing that I wrestle with when balancing coaching with my family-life is not in the chaos that is my daily schedule, or feeling like my performance in one is sometimes undermined by my efforts on the other. My biggest struggle comes when I have to leave my kids behind. In my last entry I wrote about some challenges one faces when traveling with kids and a Team. This week is a look into why and how I deal with extended absences.

With my position as an Assistant Coach to the U.S. National Team, it is not uncommon for me to travel for two to three weeks at a time. This year, in preparation for the Olympics, my travel schedule increases. I am currently ten days into a two week trip to the U.S. Olympic Training Center in Chula Vista, CA. Normally based in Princeton, NJ, the team is training here for three months. I come out for two-week blocks to help cover the practices when the Head Coach takes a few days to return to the East Coast to check on the athletes training in New Jersey and to see his family.

The USOTC is an idyllic place to train. The Southern California weather is beautiful. The set-up is ideal. The dorms are next to the dining room which is less than a ten minute walk to the lake. The weight room is close by. The physical therapists and a nutritionist are on-site. Training here is completely focused. There are no distractions. The women are training three times a day, six days a week. Their primary responsibilities when not at practice are to rest, hydrate, fuel, and go to PT if necessary. This is not collegiate life where athletes juggle training schedules with academics, extra-curricular activities, and social lives. Rowing here is a full-time commitment.

Coaching is also completely focused. There is no run-around in the middle of the day. No distractions.

At home, my husband and I juggle changing schedules for ourselves and our two children on a daily basis. My normal day consists of our first practice starting at 6:30 or 7:00. We have a second workout in the morning and wrap up around 11:00. My husband gets the kids off to school and then heads to the office. For me, the middle of the day is spent on work or attending school activities. Then I am back to the boathouse or weight room for an afternoon workout. When I am done by 3:00, I can pick up my daughter at day care and meet the bus to get my son. Otherwise, my husband gets one or the other or both. We all sit down for dinner. Then evenings are spent on homework, reading, bedtime, responding to emails and preparing for the next day.

Here, my attention is on coaching.

We have 148 days until the Opening Ceremonies for the Olympic Games. The athletes are training: building their aerobic base, increasing their strength, and working on technique. Selection has not started yet, but every day at practice is intensely focused. Performances are impressive. You can feel the pressure that each one is putting on herself. For some, this will be their only opportunity to race for an Olympic medal. As a coach, it is my responsibility to do everything I can to help them reach their goal.

This coaching is incredibly rewarding, but I miss my family. Some may say, figure out a way to bring them along. With little ones that is challenging but possible if you have another support person. But, once kids start school and get into sports and activities themselves, it is not easy to up-root them for a few days to weeks at a time. So, I figure out a way to make it work.

It was harder to do extended travel when my children were younger. If you are nursing, there are physical challenges in addition to the emotional strain of being away from your baby. As they get older, the physical gets resolved. Until they are old enough to communicate, though, it is difficult to talk on the phone, and it is challenging to explain when you will be back. From two to four years, my son’s concept of time did not extend much past “the day after this day”, so I would not start talking about coming home until the last two days of the trip. At six, he now comprehends “one more week”, and he can help explain it to his little sister.

This year, I have developed a few strategies to make the long absences more manageable. Most importantly, I talk to both kids every day. We try to stick to a schedule talking before or after school depending on the time change and practice schedule. However, there are also occasions that they will call for a quick story out of the blue. Last night, my three-year-old daughter called me to tell me her electronic toothbrush was out of batteries but Daddy was going to fix it in the morning. It was not a big deal. She just wanted to share that with me. I try to be available for those calls, even if it means stepping out of a conversation. We also use Skype for video conferencing when possible. However I don’t count on it. Internet connections sometimes make it more frustrating that worthwhile and usually my kids just want to make faces into the camera versus tell me about their day. Luckily, my children are relatively conversant on the telephone. Finally, I have also started working on photo albums for each of my children on-line. One of my friends, who is a working mother in the corporate world, shared that she makes yearly photo albums for her children when she is traveling. So, this year, my evenings are filled with sorting six years of photos and making albums for them … which I do not have time to do when I am home. My husband is also wonderful about sending me photos of my daughter in her creative daily outfits, videos of my son showing me his lost front tooth, and little care packages of their artwork.

Sometimes I feel guilty about being away from them for such long periods of time. A few days ago I talked to them, and my daughter said, “Mommy, I want to jump into the phone to be with you”. Last week, I got a call from the school nurse saying my son had a fever. There is not much I can do from 3000 miles. I do question my decision to be away from them for extended periods. But, I completely trust my husband to take care of them. He was there to pick my sick son up from school. He fills their weekends with interesting and fun events. Last Saturday they went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City and visited friends for the day. I know they are happy. I know they have a stable schedule and environment. Mostly I just miss them. I miss their hugs. I miss their little comments that aren’t worthy of relaying. I miss playing with them and bedtime stories. I am good at forgetting what I don’t miss. I do know that this is a big push through the Olympics and then I will get to be with them full-time for a long time. I also know that my time away from them makes me treasure my time with them even more.

This is a continuation on my theme of stories, some comical and some stressful and all of them learning experiences, about balancing family life with the demands of coaching.  Again, these stories come from a number of Division 1 rowing coaches but could just as well come from other sports, other levels, or non-coaching careers.  For those of you who have been in these same situations, hopefully these will give you a chuckle or some peace of mind that others resort to similar extremes.  For those of you who consider having children someday, these stories may give you a bit of confidence that you can keep coaching although sometimes it is a challenge and you may question your decisions as they impact your team or your child.

Most, although not all, of us have supportive partners who share the challenges of balancing a family with work schedule.  Sometimes we have to reach out to extended family or friends for coverage during racing season.  However, there inevitably comes a time when there is no option but to bring the child/ren on the road.  This week looks into lessons learned and some challenges while traveling with kids and the team.

My son was less than a year old for our first racing season.  My husband and I both coach, so our son came to every race.  I was determined to nurse for a year, so if we were at different venues, he came to every race with me.  I usually took him in the truck and trailer or drove separately so that I could stop when necessary.  However, there was one six hour trip, and I had bus duty.  The long bus trips were nerve wracking because I did not want him to be fussy and bother the athletes.  I also feared that he would go through all his bottles and still want to feed.  I was not comfortable breastfeeding in such close proximity to a bus full of collegiate women.  During that trip, I learned a few key tricks.  1) Food is key, so I was well supplied with bottles including: milk, dry formula that just needed water added, water and snacks (time consuming snacks like cheerios one-at-a-time are good).  2) Stay on top of diaper changes to avoid a blow out, but have a couple changes of clothes just in case.  Have a whole box of wipes because it may come to a sponge bath. Also have a supply of zip-lock bags to lock up those stinky ones.  3) It is important to stick as closely to routines as possible but also to be flexible.  For my son, meal times needed be as close to normal as possible.  Nap times could slide an hour or so.  I had to remind myself a couple of times that at some point he would sleep.  Finally he did.  4) Have age appropriate toys that ideally do not make noise.

If you have something that squeaks, that is going to be the preferred toy when everyone else is trying to sleep.  5) Strapping a car seat in is a great way to contain pre-toddlers and toddlers and a safe place for them to  nap.  And 6) The bus is a veritable playground for kids on a long trip and usually the team wants to play with them which actually makes it relaxing for mom at times.  These lessons got me through a number of long bus rides, road trips across the country, and long flights.

Sometimes, however, it does not go smoothly no matter how prepared you are.  One coach recounts her most memorable bus trip:  We were about an hour into a five hour bus journey and my daughter (who was five) was sitting on the lap of one of athletes in the back of the bus, they were playing some game where my daughter dove down and then came back up.  After about the 3rd time she came back up and projectile vomited on 4-5 athletes.  That’s when we used up the roll of toilet paper.  An hour later she was sleeping, the minute she sat up she threw up again in the middle of the bus.  Two hours later as we were arriving at our destination she threw up once again, in the front….and hitting the bus driver’s boots.  We were in desperate need of cleaning supplies so I had my assistant coaches who were driving the trailer meet us at the door as we pulled up.  We then decided that we needed to get my daughter off the bus (for the good of the team) so we loaded her into the truck.  Sure enough, she threw up all over the truck and the assistant coaches.  I honestly don’t know how she had some much stuff in her tummy.  Needless to say, the trip was memorable for everyone involved and I avoided bus trips with my daughter for 2 years…

Furnace Room Door

The birth of our first child was perfectly timed a few weeks after our conference championships.  That gave me just over a month of relaxation, preparation, “nesting” or go stir-crazy time depending on the day.  It also gave me much of the summer to enjoy a few weeks of maternity leave and gradually get back into recruiting and coaching.  Our second child arrived a week early on the day I was supposed to ride the bus six hours with over fifty collegiate women to our last regular season race.  Needless to say, I did not go on that trip.  All season I had told the team that it was unlikely that I would attend that race.  The day before, we had practice, loaded the trailer and finalized all the plans.  I had met with my doctor, and she gave me the go-ahead … as long as I took all my paperwork with me.  However, when I woke up in the early hours of the morning, I knew that it was not to be.  I missed that race.  That was Friday.

On Monday afternoon, I was at practice with my newborn in the baby-Bjorn snuggled in under my float-suit.  Float-suits are those full-body, orange, insulated floatation suits that crab fishermen wear in Alaska.  And, I was out coaching on the river.  One of the women who coaches out of the boathouse next door yelled across from her dock, “When are you going to have that baby?”  I happily unzipped my giant suit to show her that the deed was done.  She laughed.  I went on with practice.  My team (of freshmen collegiate women) was ecstatic with the baby girl and only mildly surprised that I had made it to the boathouse much less on the water.  I had promised them that I would not miss much.  We had less than three weeks until our conference championship.

Through this experience, I learned that you could only generally time pregnancy and the birth of a child.  Even though many people had said that, I liked to think that I had more control over the situation.  I gained confidence in the strength and resilience of my own body.  That said, I was glad that it was my second child, and I had a better idea of what to expect.  And, as many women have done, I set an example for the athletes on my team, good or bad depending on your opinion, of what a woman can do when
pregnant and after childbirth.

To continue, when I first got pregnant, I looked over the calendar and I reviewed my employer’s policy for maternity leave.  It was a standard policy with paid and unpaid time off.  I met with the Associate Athletic Director that oversaw my sport.  I also met with the human resources representative in the Athletic Department.  I explained to both that my due date was a couple of weeks before our conference championships.  I wanted to postpone my maternity leave until after that final race and then take it in full during the summer.  They said no problem, gave me some paperwork, and said that I needed a letter from my doctor saying that I was allowed to return to work.  I got the letter from my doctor, turned in the paperwork, and focused on my team.

As described above, my baby arrived almost on schedule.  When I returned to work, I had a little place set up in the furnace room of the boathouse, perched on a stool, where I could nurse before and after practices.  It was kind of grungy, but it was warm.
My assistant coach taped a note to the door … Do Not Enter: Annie w/ Baby.  It was in that room, or closet rather, that I got a call from the university’s HR department saying that I indeed was not going to receive any paid leave.  Because I had a note stating that I was fit enough to work, I did not receive that benefit.  The advice that I would like to pass along from this experience is: know your employer’s policy from those who enforce it, in this case from Human Resources directly.

At the time, I was devastated and exhausted.  I felt like the administration did not recognize the value that I was (trying) to provide to the team or the sacrifice that (I felt) I was making to my child by dragging her to practice everyday.  That said, I never regretted my decision.  I was committed to the team I was coaching, and I wanted to see them through the end of the season.  And, in the end, I think my daughter has turned out just fine.

As a mother in coaching, I have my fair share of stories, some comical and some stressful, about balancing coaching life with children.  I have also recruited some amazing women who are mothers and Division 1 rowing coaches to share real-life stories about their experiences balancing family life with the demands of coaching.  Over the next few entries, I will share stories that show the challenge that coaches with kids face on a regular basis and, in some cases, the lessons learned from those experiences.  I do want to point out that there are a number of fathers out there who can share these stories as well.  For those of you who have been these same situations, hopefully these will give you a chuckle or some peace of mind that others have resorted to similar measures.  For those of you who are considering having children someday, these stories may give you a bit of confidence that you can keep coaching although sometimes it is a challenge and you may question your decisions as they impact your team or your child.

The reality is that practice schedules do not recognize the multitude of national holidays, teacher conference days, and teachers in training days that close schools and day-cares.  Training for sport does not necessarily accommodate 8:00am – 5:00pm (or 6:00-6:00 extended hours) for day-care or 9:00-3:00 school time-frames.  “Sick days” are rarely used by coaches.  So, when juggling children with coaching, inevitably there comes a time when kids have to come to practice.  These are a few snippets of life for a rowing coach and the lessons learned…

(To put things in context:  rowing is an outdoor sport with the coach following the team in a launch (or motor boat).  Teams train year round with racing seasons in the fall and winter for collegiate rowers and in the summer for elite levels.  Generally teams train indoors on rowing machines for a few weeks to a couple of months during the winter.)

My daughter spent the first six months in the office and strapped to me when I was coaching.  I remember one memorable practice when it was raining and windy, we had a top recruit in the launch and my daughter was having a complete meltdown.  I unhooked her from the Baby Bjorn and thrust her into the arms of the recruit.  I apologized and explained that sometimes you just had to roll with it.  She couldn’t believe it, but I think it was memorable and despite the chaos, the recruit signed.  We laughed about her visit for the next 4 years and she became one of my daughter’s favorites.

Yesterday our babysitter had to drop our daughter off at the boathouse during practice and both our teams were in the middle of 6k testing.  She is now fourteen months old and usually loves the boathouse and can’t wait to come in and see the kids.  This time she came in, took one look around, burst into tears and made a beeline for the door.  Guess we should have waited to introduce her to winter training….

I had a small yellow Croc in my locker for years.  One day at practice, my toddler son was playing with his cars on the dock while the teams were preparing to launch.  He came to practice and rode in the launch with us three days a week and was always securely strapped in his life-vest when near the water.  This one time he did not have it on yet.  We don’t know, and he doesn’t remember, how, but he fell into the water.  Luckily 1) it was only two feet deep on that side of the dock, 2) the water was not flowing too swiftly to carry him under, and 3) one of the women on the team saw him pop up and quickly grabbed him.  His lone yellow Croc was floating in the water.  The other one was gone for good along with Lightening McQueen and Mater toy cars.   I kept that Croc as a reminder of how lucky we are for what we have, but how unpredictable life can be and sometimes there is no room for oversight or negligence.

On occasion, I have to bring my kids in the launch.  It is difficult to entertain a three year-old and a six year-old for an hour and a half on the water.  I try to bring toys, coloring supplies, etc.  Inevitably, though, one or the other gets bored.  The last time I had them both out, I ended up with my son, who is six, driving the launch.  My daughter, who is three, was taking times and working the megaphone.  And, I was not getting much coaching done.  Luckily it was just a steady state row without much technical work.  I did make a mental note that I need to bring new distractions, I may resort to our portable DVD player, and I cannot forget the snacks next time.  Entertainment and food usually gets them through anything.

My daughter “plays” on the erg.  I still find that funny even though it has been going on for years.  Also, almost every Saturday morning practice she builds forts out of our stretching mats…..then she convinces whoever she can to “join” her in the fort.  There are many Saturdays when you will find one, two or three coxies in the fort, having “tea”.

Just to wrap up, it constantly amazes me how adaptable kids are and how they can make almost any situation tolerable.  Their creativity is amazing.  I am also surprised by the athletes’ reaction to the children.  Sometimes athletes are playful, sometimes competitive, sometimes nurturing, occasionally indifferent, but never are they resentful or negative.

Happy kid, happy athlete

I debated a long time before I committed to doing this blog.  I am trying to heed common advice, to learn to say “No”.  My New Year’s resolution was to make time for myself … yeah, right.  Like all working mothers, I am over committed.  Like all coaches, I juggle an erratic schedule.

The timing is not ideal to take on additional responsibilities.  The first day of competition for the 2012 Summer Olympics is 205 days away.  I have coached at the collegiate level, and I have assisted with the National Team for a number of years now, but this is my first time coaching athletes in preparation for the Olympic Games.  The focus and intensity are higher.  There is also a busy travel schedule.  After a New Year’s Eve red-eye flight home from the holidays with our two children, my husband and I enjoyed a coveted day of rest and planned 2012.  As we went over our calendars, we realized that we will not be together at home for more than seven days at a time through April.  One of us will be traveling while the other juggles the kid’s schedules with practices and work.  June and July will bring longer trips to Europe.  This is only daunting because each day in our life is a logistical challenge for my husband and me with my practices, his meetings and conference calls, and the kid’s school, athletic and social activities.  I love my family, and I love my work, but I can barely keep up with my daily routine much less keep track of a weekly blog contribution.

That said, supporting Women in Coaching is important to me.  As an athlete I looked for successful female coaches.  There were not many.  There are more now, but still a minority in most sports.  Now I am trying to be one myself.  I look at this as an opportunity for me to learn from other successful women and coaches.  It is also a way for me to share my experiences and observations and maybe support others in their quest to balance coaching with life.  So, I said “Yes” to this.